Have you ever had a feeling that the life you live is not really your own? That hobbies, jobs, friends you have don’t reflect your personality, but rather what is societally acceptable?
That your real personality never had any chance to grow and develop because it was too different from what school or parents desired to see.
And so parts of your soul were pruned like branches by a gardener.
And that memories of years passed are just someone’s stolen memories, but not yours. That you would act, relieve these moments differently if you were there.
Probably I could be more positive and instead of being angry should ask:
what do I have to change in my goals, daily routine, job, so that it would feel like my own life?
And suddenly it’s very difficult to answer this question. Probably I have to try out a lot of new things, “wake up” in a whole new reality everyday to gradually find what makes some particular reality my own, what feels like home…
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