It all worked out well, but where’s happiness

The negotiations at work went out better than expected. It seems we will develop some agreement which suits both sides.

But what do I feel about this negotiation attempt?

I’m glad it’s over and that I don’t have to mentally prepare for different directions the dialog could develop. Also it’s great that something is finally being done to change the unbearable predictability of life. Some new life, chaos with a positive sign.

But why do I also feel sad?

The years go by like seconds and I'm not sure that life is not a dream. But if it's a dream why am I afraid to wake up?

Does anything brings lasting satisfaction anymore?

Or are there only promises of happiness around? The chocolate bar promises me that I will be “happy” for a fleeting moment. Maybe just long enough to get an appetite for another one. No satiation, only endless desire. This a machinery of spiritual enslavement. No wonder that fasting is a spiritual practice.

Where’s long-lasting feeling that everything is going to alright in the end. Where’s hope?

Every time I read news I feel crushed by the weight of soulless technology which is being prepared and developed at this very moment to forcibly transform the life of “consumers” in ways reducing people to peaces of consuming meat or numbers is some advertisers’ statistics.

I hope that people who work for corporations developing AI crap, wives/husband-replacing-robots, social addiction media will all suffer in hell of their own creation, will be shackled in the very chains they forge for people of the Earth or “consumers” how they see us.

With every passing day I see more clearly that spiritual way is the only way out of “matrix” of modern society, out of being trapped in a role of ever wanting every greedy ever unsatisfied money giving, consuming machine.

To want less material things, to be satiated with less, to appreciate fleeting moments, garden flowers, birds racing in the skies…

Sounds promising and liberating… I think I found my hope…