Forging discipline despite mental exhaustion

Since I decided to publish at least one small article every day I have to write something down today.

Feeling tired and sad doesn’t particularly help in this task today. But I guess that the whole point of doing a task regularly is to do it regardless of external circumstances.

Some pressure is necessary to stick to the plan. I think that the word I’m looking for in this text and my daily life is “perseverance – continued effort to achieve something despite difficulties” .

Only through perseverance can I finish many interesting projects both work and hobby-related. Otherwise I tend to start one task after another, enjoy novelty for a short period of time, and later when sense of novelty wears off I usually stop the task. There was already a post about it in this blog, so I won’t repeat myself.

Apart from attempts to increase my perseverance, there’s nothing much happening. Same routine as always. Maybe the routine is not the problem, maybe what’s inside me is. Maybe I want to escape my own head. Pain, suffering, loneliness, hopelessness. These all are neighborhoods inside my soul I’d rather not visit.

I know I have to fight these feelings, but sometimes I feel just too exhausted and want to stop existing at least for couple of minutes.

There’s where hobby and art save me from insanity as they help to both express feelings and escape them.

Maybe the feelings through art go to the outside world and therefore are no longer present in me.

Anyway, what I particularly like is red color. All the fiery shadows: black, orange, red. Which is why I was very happy to find this treasure of a cup on flea-market yesterday. What an explosion of tones!