Excitement seeking

I constantly have the desire to try out everything:

• hobby radio
• drawing, e.g. images of my cats
• doing sports like climbing
• learning to play musical instruments
• learning Spanish language

The list goes on and on. While somehow it’s very exciting to think about doing all of these tasks the reality is quite different. In reality after a couple of tries at something I would stuck at some necessary, but maybe less exciting routine. E.g. soldering for radio hobby requires a lot of attention, practice and time. You have to be in a special relaxed state of mind to solder properly.

But my state of mind is reminiscent of a leaf carried by the wind in the storm of emotions, excitement and thrill-seeking.

For example when working with spray cans, coloring different objects, I think the same stormy wind of excitement starts blowing in my soul. I just can’t wait to see the result, to see the familiar objects painted in some unexpected crazy colors.

Somehow during the real storms I feel similar but even stronger excitement in me. When the skies go dark and clouds swirl and swell with hidden menace, when the lightning paints the whole world in a flash of otherworldly colors.

When the whole world is about to change, and powers of nature are tense like a spring, waiting for the right moment to release all accumulated energy in stormy winds and pounding rain.

During these moments I feel myself at home. I feel like I belong to this frenzy of elements, like I finally found my family among the wild winds, thunder and lightning.

I always wish that these moments last forever…